I have 5 kids....so what?


Lately I've seen/heard quite a few...stupid comments....let's call them opinions regarding how many children people have. I thought I would add my two cents on the matter. First of all I have five children; 4 living and 1 in heaven. I have heard all sorts of ..interesting comments when I tell people how many children I have. I started making my own jokes about "having so many" children just to avoid listening to people say really stupid things; like "Looks like you've got your hands full" Really? Is punching you still illegal? Thought so....but just checking.

What is considered to be a bunch of children? It seems by people's comments it is anything more than 2?  I was really offended one time when someone said to Aaron something like "I heard you had a bunch of kids living at your house now" I can't really say why I was offended, hormones maybe? (I was pregnant at the time)  Three of the bunch are not biologically Aaron's children but he has made the choice to love them, care for them and support them just as they are is own...they are not simply just "living at his house" I heard a similar comment the other day from a former high school classmate implying I have "a bunch" of kids. Yes, I have five children but is that really considered "a bunch"?  Comments like this are insulting, while I understand that not everyone is aware of our son's death but it still hurts to think we have one less child living at our house than we should.

The connection between having multiple children and "living off government assistance" Really people?? This pisses me off for so many reasons. I was on food stamps for short amount of time after separating from my ex-husband. Not because I had 3 children or wanted to be lazy and just kick back and reap the benefits. Because I had just gone from a 2 family income to a 1 family income and even though I was working 2 jobs I needed a little extra help. (I wasn't receiving child support either..fyi, the court system is very screwed up)  I had to provide them with several different documents and information stopping just shy of having to share a kidney to receive a couple hundred dollars a month to help buy groceries. The point is..it isn't easy to get assistance, they don't just hand out money to anyone who "pops another kid out" as people tend to imply. . Don't get me wrong I know there are people out there who do abuse the system, in my opinion they are either going to abuse it or they aren't. I don't think it has anything to do with how many children they have. I know people without children who are on financial assistance. I also know people who could/should be on assistance but aren't. Not everyone who has multiple children are on state assistance. Stop the stereo-types people it's ridiculous.

The misconception that big families are out of control. Having 5 kids means that there is never a dull moment at my house. But it doesn't mean that my children aren't well behaved or that we cause a scene every time we go out in public. It doesn't mean that each one of my children doesn't feel very loved and cared for. However, it does mean that we have plenty of laughter. Whether you have 1 child or 10 children every family has their good and bad days.

People love to say "looks like you've got your hands full" yep we've all heard it, and heard it, and heard it.....well you know what they say better the glass is half full than half empty so yeah I have my hands full... full of love....full of hugs...full of five beautiful children! And I couldn't ask for anything more. So the next time someone says to me "looks like you've got your hands full" I'm going to respond with "If you think my hands are full you should see my heart"


P.S.:  Anna, one of my favorite bloggers at My Life and Kids wrote this blog Why Everyone (Except Me) Should Have at Least Four Kids Personally I thought it was hilarious, maybe not completely accurate but hilarious nonetheless!!

.

12 comments:

  1. Powerful post, and I love how it ends. You could get that printed on a T-shirt and then never have to answer any questions...

    ReplyDelete
  2. Awesome post and very well said. some people are just ignorant, even so it is hard to ignore. By the way, I love Anna from My Life and Kids, too :)

    ReplyDelete
  3. I love your last line! Good for you. I have two kids and even I've gotten that comment - when they were acting up at the grocery store. My kids were tired and had had a long day. I didn't blame them. And when some older lady said I had my hands full, I was thinking - Geez lady. I am having a tough time here, obviously. I don't need snarky comments. But I just smiled and said "Yeah" or something dumb. I wish I had your line at the tip of my tongue!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I have been there so many times. I actually just found this picture(quote) on pinterest, so I can't take credit for it but it is genius!

      Delete
  4. As a mom of one, I promise to never ever ever ever say, "Looks like you've got your hands full again." Love the "heart" comment but wouldn't want the unsuspecting punch ;-) I wanted a big family, it just didn't work out that way.

    Visiting you via the link up party at Sensible Moms. Nice to meet you!

    ReplyDelete
  5. Love this!! We only have three kids, but still get the same snide remarks about having our hands full. When I was pregnant with our third, I can't tell you HOW many people would say, "you know what causes that, right?" Finally, after having a bad day and being super annoyed, my husband's old co-worker made the same comment and I retorted, "Yeah, must be doggy-style." Boy, THAT shut her up!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I love it. That is by far the best response ever!

      Delete
  6. I have 5 kids too so I know what you are talking about. Thank you for linking up. This is a great post. Erin

    ReplyDelete
  7. Also, do you have a twitter handle?? We want to tweet your post to our followers. Thanks! Erin

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes Ma'am. I'm still very new to all of this so I haven't quite mastered how to use it. lol
      https://twitter.com/RylansFamily

      Delete
  8. Me too! I have 5 (and 1 in heaven) . Also I was never aware of the awful stereotypical attitudes about assistance until I needed some.

    ReplyDelete