The day that changed my life

It may sound strange that a home pregnancy test may have had the biggest impact in my life. But, the day that  a little white stick soaked in my urine determined my fate was one I will never forget. Ever.
Whether you are trying to get pregnant or taken by surprise those 3 minutes waiting for a yes or no are the longest 3 minutes of your life (until the delivery that is) 

I was 17 years old, I had missed two, ok three periods (I'm still a little in denial about how long I actually waited) before I nervously took myself down to the store to purchase a few of those little life changers. One is never enough. I think I had three of them. I planned to take one that night and one the next night and then the next night.

After very carefully reading every detail of the directions, shaking and terrified I took out the test. I peed. I waited the excruciating 3 minutes only to find...

What the fuck? Positive.

This can't be. This really can't be. I mean I know I've missed a few periods and I've been throwing up every damn day. But, I can not be pregnant.

Ok, I'll take another test. I reread the directions. I must have messed it up somehow. I peed. I waited another even more excruciating 3 minutes. Again, what the fuck? Positive.

I'm starting to think I might be pregnant. But I better take that 3rd test just to be sure. Once more I peed, I waited and you guessed it I got another positive.

And that was the day I become a statistic. A teenage pregnancy, before it was cool, thanks MTV.

But. It was also the day my life changed forever. Instantly loving the little human growing in my belly. It was the moment I became a MOM.

I don't encourage teenage pregnancy but I wouldn't change having my lovely daughter for anything in the world.

Favorite Super Hero

My favorite super hero? The person I've chosen does not wear a cape but he is a super hero to my family just the same. He is hardworking, he is a good provider, he is caring, he is funny, he is a good father, he is patient, he is successful, he is charismatic, he is motivational, he is passionate. He is a wonderful man who cares so much about his family.

I was a single mother with 3 children when I met him. I was working two jobs and struggling to get by. He came into my life at just the perfect time. He doesn't even know how much we needed him. He fearlessly stepped into our crazy family and helped me handle every challenge. He wasn't afraid of the chaos that was everyday in our house. He captured my children's hearts the way only another parent could. 

He makes me feel alive in a way I haven't ever before. He encourages me to achieve dreams I never thought possible. He lets the kids be kids but also teaches them respect and appreciation. He is my rock through the difficult days. He is my fun loving, silly guy. 

I can't imagine life without him, ever. And that is way Aaron is my favorite super hero!

P.S. He is an amazing singer and my sexy plumber man.


Today I am supposed to write about something I wish I could change in my life. The obvious answer would be that I wish my son, Rylan hadn't died. But I don't need to keep writing about the same ol' thing. We miss him terribly but we know he is always with us.

I could write about how I wish my ex-husband was easier to deal with. We have children together and he just simply will not negotiate or compromise on anything. It is very tiresome and my children end up suffering in the end. However, for the sake of trying to keep things civil I will not allow myself to "bash" him or his personality flaws.

What is the point of discussing something I wish I could change but can not? I would rather tell you about something I plan to change. See I was never what you would call an ambitious person. During high school I cared to much about my friends, social life and having a good time. And, not enough about my grades and my future. I had no goals, no dreams, no focus and no plans to attend college.

I had absolutely no clue what I wanted to do with my life. I still don't really but I have a better understanding of who I am and what I want. So the thing I'd change is that I want to set goals and find a career doing something I love. It's never to late, right?